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Paper should have been broken down further to have the important information easy to grasp immediately. There were some grammatical errors, but paper over all had a good tone that was understandable. It is good that there were more than three resources being used. Entry was good it just needs to be revised for the internet a little more. | Paper should have been broken down further to have the important information easy to grasp immediately. There were some grammatical errors, but paper over all had a good tone that was understandable. It is good that there were more than three resources being used. Entry was good it just needs to be revised for the internet a little more. | ||
--[[User:Apitt329|Apitt329]] 13:27, 24 Mar 2005 (EST) | --[[User:Apitt329|Apitt329]] 13:27, 24 Mar 2005 (EST) | ||
You should not use the word "I". You also need to eliminate the word "though". The word count needs to be shorter to keep the reader's attention. --[[User:Dflowers|Dflowers]] 19:46, 24 Mar 2005 (EST) |
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