A lot of great information. You need to break up the long paragraphs and add a table of contents. The information just needs to broke up in to sections. Bold and add bullets to information. You could add links to the page and put a works cited area for where you got the information. - Dave Burkert
The long paragraphs take away from the information. I do not know for sur, but I don't think we were supposed to use "I".-Amberly Keough
This entry has a huge opening paragraph. I don't think people would want to read it to get the imformation. D Davis
You need to seperate your first paragraph. You have a lot of good information, but it does not stand out because its all stuck together. I liked how you linked your sources. -Whitney Behel
not easy to scan. need to redesign. This will make it easy to read
Condense information so that the reader can scan for the information that they will benifit from. Anthony Jones
Paper should have been broken down further to have the important information easy to grasp immediately. There were some grammatical errors, but paper over all had a good tone that was understandable. It is good that there were more than three resources being used. Entry was good it just needs to be revised for the internet a little more. --Apitt329 13:27, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)