A lot of great information. You need to break up the long paragraphs and add a table of contents. The information just needs to broke up in to sections. Bold and add bullets to information. You could add links to the page and put a works cited area for where you got the information. - Dave Burkert
The long paragraphs take away from the information. I do not know for sur, but I don't think we were supposed to use "I".-Amberly Keough
This entry has a huge opening paragraph. I don't think people would want to read it to get the imformation. D Davis
You need to seperate your first paragraph. You have a lot of good information, but it does not stand out because its all stuck together. I liked how you linked your sources. -Whitney Behel