The word states (you spelled it "state's") is spelled incorrectly.Clarify, or try to simplify facts. -Amberly Keough
Define the first list for word choice and wordiness. The point was stated clearly through the paper. -Robert Bartosh
If you stated what wordiness and redundency are, the topic would be a lot easier to understand. Your examples were helpful. You may want to space some of the different subjects out so certain topics will stand out. -Whitney Behel